Almost The Lad Himself

There's much more to life than BBC bias. Honestly.

Don't believe me? Then please try The Missing Hancocks on Radio 4 - recreations of lost episodes from the original Galton and Simpson scripts, starring Kevin McNally as Tony Hancock (and doing a very good impersonation of him).

The first episode, The Matador, was broadcast today and certainly made me laugh. So much so that I feel it's my blogging duty to share some of its best gags with you, our loyal readers:

Tony Hancock: Well, doctor, what's the verdict?

Doctor: Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I may as well tell you straight out. You're a malingerer. Go away!

Tony Hancock: Yes, doctor.

Bill: Well, what did he say, Tubb?

Tony Hancock: I've got malingery. He says I've got to go away.

Bill: That's tough. Malingery. And you look so healthy. 

Tony Hancock: Well, that's always the way, William. A rose is always at its fullest bloom just before it's plucked. I'd suspected something was seriously wrong with me for a while now. My strength's going. I'm right off my food. 

Andrée: I've never seen you push your plate away.

Tony Hancock: Well, there you are you see. Shows how weak I'm getting. Who'd have believed it? Me, a malinger? I'm glad I gave my job up. I wouldn't want the lads at work to catch it.

Bill: Don't worry, Tubb, perhaps they can cure it. 

Tony Hancock: No, I've heard about this disease. You hang on for about sixty or seventy years. Then it strikes. 

Tony Hancock: No, I promised your mother I'd never let you go to Paris after that terrible thing that happened last time.

Bill: But I've never been to Paris.

Tony Hancock: No, but your mother has.

Tony Hancock: I'm scared Bill. I've never been up in an aeroplane before. 

Bill: You told me when you were on holiday in Southend you were whizzing around on an aeroplane all day.

Tony Hancock: But that was different. Andrée was following behind in a little bus while the man turned the handle. 

Pilot: Oh, you don't need to worry about me. I'm an experienced pilot. I went all through the Battle of Britain. You should have seen me throwing my spitfire all over the place, looping the loop, diving, chasing planes, firing bullets at them, all through the summer of 1948.