Where is Ukraine?

“BBC chiefs are lining up journalist and newsreader Clive Myrie to replace Emily Maitlis on Newsnight, The Mail on Sunday can reveal”, says the The Mail on Sunday.

My favourite Clive Myrie moment came five years ago when he appeared on Richard Osman's House of Games and had to locate Ukraine on a map of Europe. My flabber was well and truly gasted when, after TV presenter Angela Scanlon correctly marked her guess for where Ukraine is with a green dot, Clive, having given it time and thought, then revealed his orange dot for where he thought Ukraine is:

Clive had located it in Azerbaijan. He didn't win the point. 

“He reads the news. It would be embarrassing”, teased Richard Osman, quipping, “Clive, you know what, Ukraine hasn't really been in the news recently, has it?”

Everyone laughed.

"Andrew Marr is really shouting this morning"

First Hugh, now Pointless's Richard Osman:

Andrew Marr is really shouting this morning.

He's not wrong.

A Pointless celebrity tweets

Happy birthday to our Pointless friend Richard!

(I do like your programme).

And if you're going to tweet a political opinion because it's your birthday, and you're a BBC co-presenter, why not really go for it?

Richard Osman, BBC Pointless co-presenter: I try not to tweet political opinions, but as it’s my birthday allow me just one. The Tories do want to sell off the NHS. Not in one go, just bit by bit until it’s unrecognisable. You’ll turn up one day and there will be a priority waiting room. They’ve always been open about it. 

Some people might feel their inner Hyacinth Bucket crying, Oh, Richard!!!!!

Well, at least social media allows people to disagree - even with Pointless BBC left-wing co-presenters. You can even call them out on what you believe to be fake news:

Tom Harwood, The Daily Telegraph: The thing about big lies like this is they've been made for decades and no one has ever answered for them. Somehow they claim that NHS privatisation is always just around the corner. It never is. No accountability for this charlatan.

For lovers of Twitter conversations everywhere...

Julia Hartley-Brewer (talkRADIO): I'll have to drink heavily today. Tomorrow I'm on #Marr with Remoaners-in-chief Craig Oliver (sorry, Sir Craig) & Steve Richards. Dear lord.

Richard Osman (Pointless): If you go through the whole of the Marr show tomorrow without saying 'remoaner' I'll donate to the charity of your choice.

Julia Hartley-Brewer: How much?

Richard Osman: Depends on the value of the pound.

Julia Hartley-Brewer: Very good. Can I say Remainiac instead?

Richard Osman: Yep, that's much funnier.

Julia Hartley-Brewer: How about you double it if any of the contestants on Let It Shine actually hit the right note tonight?

Richard Osman: And that stage looks suspiciously like the EU flag.

Julia Hartley-Brewer: Genuine lol

Boho&Daisies (tweeter): How about he does the same for the two 'remoaners' on with you if they don't say 'xenophobia', 'racist' 'lies' & 'bus'

Richard Osman: I'll accept all of though conditions except 'bus'. Although this is now getting complicated.

Julia Hartley-Brewer: It's a deal.

It's got worse for Julia since. 

The Remoaners-in-chief she mentioned (Sir Craig Oliver, Steve Richards) have been joined on this morning's Marr by other Remoaners-in-chief: Ken Clarke and Nicola Sturgeon. And Remain-backing Tory Justine Greening is on too. That's a heck of a lot of Remainiacs for just one show! 

And just Julia Hartley-Brewer to put the other point of view.

Update: Andrew Marr called Julia H-B a "Brexiteer". (He didn't apply any equivalent label to, say, Steve Richards). Maybe Richard from Pointless should have tweeted him too.

Further update: Andrew Marr's attempt to make the resignation of Sir Ivan Rogers a big item on his paper review saw Steve Richards and Sir Craig Oliver 'big up' Sir Ivan and Julia H-B give him a right good bashing. The section ended with the following exchange.

Julia Hartley-Brewer: He's clearly unfit for the job. His emailed resignation made him clearly unfit for the job. And he should be out of the Civil Service, as he is. Goodbye! Good riddance!
Andrew Marr: We'll hear his side of the story a little bit more from Ken Clarke...
Julia Hartley-Brewer (interrupting): I think we already did, didn't we!
Andrew Marr: ...later on.

Frankie Boyle’s emollient autopsy

Did anyone hear Jonathan Dimbleby on Any Questions repeating that infamous Michael Flynn quote “Fear of Muslims is rational” with a tone of abject incredulity? 

These people cling on to their favourite soundbites for dear life and flog them to death.  Is Jonathan Dimbleby the last man standing who refuses to consider the possibility that saying “fear of Muslims is rational” has a smidgeon of credibility? Rhetorical question. We know he isn’t.

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You know the feeling. Your kids (or someone else’s) are behaving appallingly, but doing it with such wit and creativity that you struggle to suppress a giggle, but you’re obliged not to laugh so as not to undermine your authority such as it is.

I watched Frankie Boyle’s American Autopsy. I don’t know why; let’s say morbid curiosity and ordinary curiosity rolled into one. 

Well,  I’m not immune to the humour in Frankie Boyle’s imaginative phraseology, while simultaneously marvelling at how someone so sharp can be so dumb. 

Some of the btl comments on Youtube indicate that it didn’t go down terribly well, but we know what Youtube comments are like. I mention it mainly because people are wondering why the BBC has ‘let him back’.

Unconnected with this particular programme, someone on the BBC mentioned ‘gritty’ comedy, and I guess gritty is the new edgy.

Of course Frankie is a white dude and, I gather, a father. A bit jowly these days too, one disadvantage on top of another.

He started with a monologue about Trump’s appearance and general unsuitability for office and made a few derogatory comments about America. Then he threw in something disparaging about Hillary Clinton and brought on his guests.  

The predictable and unoriginal banter was par for the course, livened up a bit by a contribution from Richard Osman (2.01 m.)

I found Osman’s excessive height rather comforting, as it gave his (mildly) dissenting view extra heft.   

Speaking as someone with a 'nasty little voice  “Goin’ peep peep peep’” I can only say I need some huge people on my side.

Richard Osman 2.01m

Frankie Boyle and his friends have certainly noticed a hell of a lot of bad stuff about America. Bad stuff about Donald Trump, bad stuff about Hillary Clinton, bad stuff about politics and all kinds of bad stuff about racism, misogyny, fascism etc etc. But they haven’t noticed anything whatsoever  about Islam. 

That’s gritty only in the  sense of ‘irritating if it gets in your eye’. As humour, this was feeble and kind of emollient. Think of people oleaginously soothing each other’s preconceived prejudices.

I think I’d prefer edgy, if I could find any.