Exclusive: Cookie Monster to appear on 'Question Time'

Following the Cookie Monster's appearance on Newsnight news has come through to us that he will soon be joining the ever-growing list of celebrities to appear on BBC One's Question Time.

We at Is the BBC Biased? have acquired a transcript of part of that forthcoming edition of the programme: 

David Dimblebly: Can we have our next question please? Mo Ansar, Mo Ansar?

Audience member: Yes, does the panel think Israel is worse than Iran?

David Dimbleby: Owen Jones?

Owen Jones: Yes, Iran rules; Israel sucks. 

Audience: Hurray!

David Dimbleby: John Redwood?

John Redwood: No, Is...

David Dimbleby [interrupting]: Answer the question!

John Redwood: No, Israel is a tiny democracy...

David Dimbleby [interrupting]: But Owen Jones is shaking his head.

John Redwood: ...so what?...and Iran...

Audience member [heckling]: Rubbish!

John Redwood:...Iran is a terror-supporting dictatorship which wants to wipe Israel from the map.

[Stony silence from the audience.]

David Dimbleby: Let's see what the audience makes of that. Sir, you shouted 'Rubbish' at John Redwood a moment ago. Why?

Audience member: Cos it's like Owin Jones sez. Iran is gud, Israel bad. 

David Dimbleby: Melanie Phillips?

Audience: Boooo!!!!

Melanie Phillips: Nonsense. Everyone is acting precisely according to the script. The fanatical Ayatollah Khamanei, the sole real power in Iran, has manoeuvred the West into the end-game.

Audience: Boooo!!!!

David Dimbleby: OK. You, yes you, the Labour Party activist in the striped jumper in the third row?

Audience member: Melanie Phillips, the Tories and UKIP are disgusting.  

[Prolonged round of applause from all the other Labour Party activists in the audience].

David Dimbleby: Cookie Monster?

Cookie Monster: Me want cookie! Om nom nom nom nom nom.

David Dimbleby: John Prescott?

John Prescott: Want me cookie too! Om nom nom nom nom nom.

David Dimbleby: OK, let's move on to the next question. We've got a question from a Laurie Penny. Can we have Laurie Penny please?.....

Me want Emily Maitlis

The triviality of ex-Guardian deputy editor Ian Katz's new-look Newsnight knows no bounds. 

Last week the programme even included an interview with the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street. 

Ha, ha, ha. How terribly post-modern and amusing. In the meantime millions go hungry and suffer poverty.

Actually, "Ha, ha, ha. How terribly post-modern and amusing. In the meantime millions go hungry and suffer poverty" wasn't me complaining at all. 

No, it was a complaint read out on this week's Newswatch - which just goes to show how po-faced some BBC complainants can be. [My money's on it being a Guardian reader]. 

Speaking for myself, I enjoyed the feature - though I will admit to some mixed feelings about it. 

It's been well over three decades since I last saw the Cookie Monster. I was heartened to see that, like me, he still has a very healthy appetite. I felt quite envious, however, that, unlike me, he doesn't seem to have aged one bit. [Being a major U.S. celebrity though, he's probably had half a dozen face lifts].

Anyhow, it may still be early in the morning but I really fancy a Chocolate Hobnob for some reason.

Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom....