Saturday 9 May 2015

Mocking Galloway, and Lyse Doucet


And talking of Dead Ringers, their post-election special made me laugh quite a lot. 

They were fairly even in their spread of targets, though the harshest satirical barbs inevitably went against the Conservatives and UKIP. (This is a BBC comedy show after all). And their closing number was clearly a little bit sad about poor Ed. (It even got an 'aww!' from the BBC audience).

Still, here are some of my highlights (i.e. the bits that satirised targets I enjoyed being targeted):


Jim Naughtie:  It's the morning after the election and two things are now clear: David Cameron will be prime minister and voters take great delight in lying their arses off to opinion pollsters. 


Jim Naughtie: It must be a shattered Ed Miliband who joins me now. 
Ed Miliband: Thanks Jim, that's a great question.
Jim Naughtie: I think on behalf of the nation I must say, 'You OK, hun? You look desolate'.
Ed Miliband: What? No, not at all. Why would I be desolate? I did what I set out to do. I proved a few people wrong tonight.
Jim Naughtie: What? But you got trounced in Scotland. It would be easier to find a vegan chippy than a Labour MP. 
Ed Miliband: Exactly. I proved all those people wrong who during the campaign started saying I was good at politics, my milifans trying to turn me into a bigger sex symbol than Poldark, Russell Brand calling on his hipster army to vote for me. Finally I can wear the donkey jacket of Michael Foot.


(Moving music)
Ed Miliband: I want a government for the many not the few.
Voiceover: The campaigning may be over but you can enjoy those golden moments you've loved over and over again with Now That's What I Call an Election 2015. Listen in the gym and add some hope to your work-out.
Ed Miliband: Am I tough enough? Hell, yeah, I'm tough enough!
David Cameron: That really pumps me up. I'm so pumped it right now. Roar!
Voiceover: From the old classics you know and love:
Nick Clegg: I'm sorry about tuition fees.
Voiceover: more recent numbers: 
Nick Clegg: I'm sorry about tuition fees.
Voiceover: ...and all of your new favourites:
Nigel Farage: The UKIP member who made those remarks has been suspended.
Voiceover: With Now That's What I Call an Election 2015 you can sit back and enjoy every second. Sit back and relax to Natalie Bennett's masterful tones:
Natalie Bennett:, I'm sorry, I lost my...(coughs). I'm sorry, could I borrow your inhaler?
Voiceover: Now That's What I Call an Election 2015, available now as a download or as a lethal injection. 


David Dimbleby: You're back with the BBC's election coverage with me, David Dimbleby. Why is it when there's two brothers at the heart of British political life it's always the one called David who's the best one?

Just to update the latest results...The Conservatives have held onto Rutland, Labour has held onto Walthamstow and the Lib Dems have held onto each other as they quietly weep. 


Bradford TV presenter: You're watching Bradford Local Television, bringing you all the Bradford news, straight from Bradford....Bradford, just south of Shipley. Pray silence and make the sign of the Big Brother Eye as we have a visitation from our glorious leader! 
George Galloway: Salamu alaykum. Peace be upon me. To my loyal subjects, it is with great sadness to announce I am to leave you all now. Do not weep excessively, though the sadness you feel is immense. The people of Bradford have sinned greatly, flirting with the accursed democracy, casting me aside for false idols.
Bradford TV presenter: They are not fit to lick the boots of Galloway. All praise unto him, for his fedora is rakishly fashionable!
George Galloway: Your praise is wise but I must sacrifice myself and leave you all. 
Bradford TV presenter: But Galloway, you must not go. You are clear of eye, stout of heart and rampant of libido. It is not too late. We will repent and throw ourselves at your expensive shoes!
George Galloway: It is far too late. I warned you about voting, my disciples. I suggested a caliphate ruling in my name for a thousand years, but the council disdained it in favour of a park-and-ride scheme from the ring road to the railway station. 
Bradford TV presenter: You cannot do this to us. We are unworthy of your greatness, for your eye-bags are large and abundant, your fedora is as black as the heavens and your opponents are irrational women! 
George Galloway: Look upon me one last time, Bradford, for tomorrow there will be a new dawn and the Sofa Palace Crazy Madhouse Sale continues right through the bank holiday weekend. But hurry, it must end soon!


Evan Davis: Hello, and welcome to our Newsnight post-election special with me Evan Davis - sounding constantly mildly surprised on TV since 1997. Joining me on the line at this time of near-apocalyptic chaos and confusion is our foreign correspondent, Lyse Doucet.
Lyse Doucet: Hello Evan.
Evan Davis: Now, you're north of the border, Lyse. Is that why the BBC has drafted you in, because Scotland is about to declare independence?
Lyse Doucet: No, Evan, the BBC gave me the title 'foreign correspondent' simply because my accent is an amalgam of every other accent in the world. 


  1. At last, a corner of the BBC where they see Galloway for what he is. I'm sure they'll keep him on speed dial, though.

    It is funny stuff, but it's graveyard humor, the defeated cheering themselves up by poking fun at Miliband, who they all secretly knew to be a walking disaster.

  2. The trouble with the Dead Ringers’ “Galloway” is that the scriptwriters concentrate solely on a soft target - Galloway’s narcissism and egomania rather than his corrupt dealings, antisemitic politics and his habitual sucking up to Jew-hating Islamist tyrants. They daren’t go for the jugular because Galloway is a litigious soul.

    Also, I think some of the impersonations are rubbish. The Cameron and Sturgeon are pretty poor, though Miliband and Alex Salmond are very convincing. The Galloway is nearly good and the Nick Clegg is not bad.

    1. True, Sue. Some of their impersonations are rubbish. They just can't get Cameron and Nicky Sturgeon right. Their Ed just couldn't be better. (Jon Culshaw, I believe).

      But their "and your opponents are irrational women" bit was certainly a bit 'daring' for the BBC.


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