Showing posts with label Marcus Brigstocke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marcus Brigstocke. Show all posts

Saturday, 30 March 2019

When driving into a tree becomes a strong temptation





  • Jesus. Radio 4. Marcus Brigstocke doing a Brexit “comedy” slot on Radio 4 for half an hour. Exactly as you’d expect. Clichéd anti-Brexit rubbish. Totally unfunny too. I’m tempted to drive my car into a tree at high speed to end the misery.
  • The good news is I changed the radio channel. The bad news is I got Wave 105 FM blasting out Phil Collins. Now where’s that tree?
  • Honestly BBC comedy. Is this the best you can do? Tired old, clichéd rubbish rehashing the same material that seems prevalent with all your “woke” “comedians”. Not funny. Not interesting. Not original. Try harder to spend my money on something better please.

"Supposed to be entertaining" was one four-word phrase from the script, and it might serve as a four-word summary for Giles Wemmbley Hogg Goes Off... Article 50 as a whole.

If you didn't hear it, here's a sample. Marcus plays Giles, "Budleigh Salterton’s biggest idiot". Here he's just received an in-person delivery of fudge from Mr Figgis, a local fudge manufacturer:


Sir Michael: Excuse us Mr Figgis, we were discussing the dreaded B-word. Brexit.
Mr Figgis: Oh, I don't know about any of that. All my fudge is made right here in Devon.
Sir Michael: So you'll be fine then after we leave?
Mr Figgis: Oh yes.
Giles: Course he will. Traditional Devon fudge. Right Mr F?
Mr Figgis: That's right. The sugar comes in from Malta and the vanilla's all from Cyprus. I get the cellophane wrapper from a factory in Estonia. Good value they are.
Giles: But what about the labels with the thatched Devon cottage on?
Mr Figgis: Oh, they're off the internet, all printed up in Ireland. The gingham frillies on the lid all come from Croatia. The jars are French.
Sir Michael: What did you decide on polling day?
Mr Figgis: I voted leave.
Sir Michael: Why was that?
Mr Figgis: Cos David Cameron left his kid in that pub and George Osborne has those small little eyes.
Sir Michael: Of course.
Mr Figgis: Mind you we might have to shut the fudgery down now.
Giles: WHAT!!!
Mr Figgis: Sorry Gilesy. We even contended with the supply chain uncertainty and the risk of a  WTO tariff regime, so SME's are struggling to carry through forward investment.
Giles: WHAT!!!
Mr Figgis: And Mrs Figgis broke the big pot on Wednesday.
Giles: But the fudgery CAN'T close! I mean, it's what Devon's all about! I won't let it close!

Sunday, 3 August 2014

#makeitbrigstop



Marcus Brigstocke's new series of The Brig Society began this Friday. It was a laugh an hour. (And it only lasted half an hour).

What did you miss? Lots of anti-UKIP rants and jokes, an anti-Daily Telegraph joke [what, no anti-Daily Mail jokes, Marcus? You're slipping!], some gentle anti-Lib Dem quotes, an attack on Geert Wilders (he's a racist), digs at anti-immigration audience members on Question Time (they're racists), some banker-bashing, digs at fracking, private healthcare providers and Eric Pickles, various points in favour of the EU, a section arguing how democratic the EU really is (it's very democratic, apparently) and a serious bit about a big business-backed transatlantic trade treaty that could bring asbestos back into our homes and destroy the NHS. Oh, and an pro-immigration rant too! 

"I like the European Union", Marcus told us. "I love the NHS passionately", he also told us.

It was like an edition of Question Time with only Marcus Brigstocke on the panel and an audience bused in from the Marcus Brigstocke Fan Club - except that Question Time is much funnier. 

As an example of Marcus's sledgehammer style of humour, his mock election declaration contained the following candidates: 
Geoffrey Entitlement Overbite-Eton (Conservative)
Jennifer Browbeaten Alice Meanswell (Lib Dem)
Neville William Hatecrime-Bigot (UKIP)
(No joke Labour candidate, of course.)

Good old reliable Radio 4 comedians, nice and safe inside their comfort zone!

Here's a flavour of the Twitter reaction (or at least the Twitter reaction I agree with):

Sunday, 8 December 2013

Babies, black holes, Bonnie Greer, Nelson Mandela (inevitably) and bloody Marcus Brigstocke



Slowing working through this morning's Broadcasting House and, with just two items down, there's already been a Bushtucker Trial's worth of bias from the programme, thanks to Hugh Sykes and Paddy O'Connell. So we've already had the kangaroo's willy and the witchetty grubs. What's up next?

Well, here's Paddy bringing in the turkey testicles...

...namely the tale of an Italian woman visiting Britain who was forced by a British council to give birth to her baby by caesarian section under the provisions of the Mental Health Act. (The father was Senegalese, I read elsewhere). The lady in question appears to be suffering from paranoid delusions (though that is disputed). 

Was I being paranoid when I suspected that the council in the dock, which Paddy mentioned as Essex Council, must be Conservative-run, or BH wouldn't be discussing the matter? 

Checking Google confirmed that Essex is indeed Conservative-run. (I'm Northern, so I'm never sure of such things - though I'd a pretty good idea!!)

Was this going to be a 'naughty Tory council' story? Or something much fairer and more interesting, discussing the ethics of the case in a balanced way?

I've still not listened to it yet, so let's find out............

Ah, Paddy's talking to a woman in a similar situation and she's giving her side of the case, highly critical of the way she was treated. Paddy is all ears and sympathy. Oh dear, it's going to be one-sided after all. 

Very interesting though, poor lady.

Still, I wonder what the other side of the argument is. How can it be justified to force a caesarian section on a woman with mental health issues? What was Essex Council's case?

I'd be very interested to hear that, as it seems like a gross intrusion by the state to me. I wish BH had allowed me to hear it.

Anyone for a baked spider?

Ah, here's Paddy again with news that the Kielder Forest over in't North East could become a 'Dark Sky Preserve' (Britain's first), if local residents agree to it.



Now, I love the idea of 'dark sky preserves' and the chance to spend some quality time with the Milky Way, but this is a live issue and residents need to give their consent for it. Is there 100% support for it in the area (support which this consultation exercise will conclusively confirm), or are there arguments against this move and people resisting it? 

I'm none the wiser about that because Paddy simply talked to another BBC presenter, Kaz Graham from Farming Today, about it. Both Kaz and Paddy said that dark skies matter, and Kaz presented only the case for it - all the benefits. 

Gary from the Kielder Observatory then took Kaz around the site and expounded the case for 'dark sky' status again.

How can anyone disagree with him? Does anyone disagree with him? Who knows, given that Broadcasting House wasn't saying! This was a party political broadcast on behalf of the the Dark Sky Preserve Party. Was that wrong?

The paper review, the blended cockroach drink served at the end of the programme, featured Bonnie Greer (formerly of Newsnight Review 'fame'), soon-to-be Newsnight presenter Laura Kuenssberg and an actor Robin Ellis from Poldark - all BBC-friendly people.

Nelson Mandela was up first. Paddy got Bonnie to read something from a piece in the Sun about viewers complaining about the BBC's  e   x  t   e  n   s   i  v   e coverage of Nelson Mandela's death. She called it "a tiny sort of story", and quoted the BBC's response, agreed with it, and ended by saying "it's one of the things that the BBC is for". Laura agreed, saying the extent of the BBC's coverage was "exactly the right decision".

Well, that's all right then. BBC-friendly people defending the BBC to the hilt shocker!

Actually there was one final mealworm-based snack - another 'Advent calender' entry, described afterwards by the BBC presenter as being "comedy".

I beg to differ.

Unlike last week's genuinely funny Mitchell & Webb sketch, this was a dreary Radio 4 comedian's rant - complete with extensive sneers at the the Daily Mail (and, yes, he really did call it the 'Hate Mail'). I didn't smile once. (I did think of suicide on several occasions though. It was that unfunny.).

I half-recognised the voice as I was listening. I should have instantly recognised it, given the dreary predictability of his 'humour' - and the dreary inevitability that Radio 4 would ask this particular 'comedian' to take part in its 'Advent calender' thing at some stage.

Yes, it was Marcus ****ing Brigstocke.

Marcus Brigstocke, laughing at his own jokes (the way we all laugh at his jokes)

That man really must have something truly scandalous on the bosses at Radio 4. An ability to blackmail senior BBC execs is the only logical explanation for why Marcus (universally known as 'Britain's unfunniest man') is almost impossible to avoid on Radio 4.

He makes me want to give up atheism so that I can thank God for the off switch.