Saturday 30 March 2019

When driving into a tree becomes a strong temptation

  • Jesus. Radio 4. Marcus Brigstocke doing a Brexit “comedy” slot on Radio 4 for half an hour. Exactly as you’d expect. Clichéd anti-Brexit rubbish. Totally unfunny too. I’m tempted to drive my car into a tree at high speed to end the misery.
  • The good news is I changed the radio channel. The bad news is I got Wave 105 FM blasting out Phil Collins. Now where’s that tree?
  • Honestly BBC comedy. Is this the best you can do? Tired old, clichéd rubbish rehashing the same material that seems prevalent with all your “woke” “comedians”. Not funny. Not interesting. Not original. Try harder to spend my money on something better please.

"Supposed to be entertaining" was one four-word phrase from the script, and it might serve as a four-word summary for Giles Wemmbley Hogg Goes Off... Article 50 as a whole.

If you didn't hear it, here's a sample. Marcus plays Giles, "Budleigh Salterton’s biggest idiot". Here he's just received an in-person delivery of fudge from Mr Figgis, a local fudge manufacturer:

Sir Michael: Excuse us Mr Figgis, we were discussing the dreaded B-word. Brexit.
Mr Figgis: Oh, I don't know about any of that. All my fudge is made right here in Devon.
Sir Michael: So you'll be fine then after we leave?
Mr Figgis: Oh yes.
Giles: Course he will. Traditional Devon fudge. Right Mr F?
Mr Figgis: That's right. The sugar comes in from Malta and the vanilla's all from Cyprus. I get the cellophane wrapper from a factory in Estonia. Good value they are.
Giles: But what about the labels with the thatched Devon cottage on?
Mr Figgis: Oh, they're off the internet, all printed up in Ireland. The gingham frillies on the lid all come from Croatia. The jars are French.
Sir Michael: What did you decide on polling day?
Mr Figgis: I voted leave.
Sir Michael: Why was that?
Mr Figgis: Cos David Cameron left his kid in that pub and George Osborne has those small little eyes.
Sir Michael: Of course.
Mr Figgis: Mind you we might have to shut the fudgery down now.
Giles: WHAT!!!
Mr Figgis: Sorry Gilesy. We even contended with the supply chain uncertainty and the risk of a  WTO tariff regime, so SME's are struggling to carry through forward investment.
Giles: WHAT!!!
Mr Figgis: And Mrs Figgis broke the big pot on Wednesday.
Giles: But the fudgery CAN'T close! I mean, it's what Devon's all about! I won't let it close!

1 comment:

  1. Well I suppose Marcus was satirically noting all the local jobs and revenues that have been lost from Devon to Estonia, Ireland, Malta and Cyprus? More likely all the Estonians, Irish, Maltese etc., have immigrated to Devon to "do the jobs the Devonians wont do".
    There are what Brigstoke knows about running a small business is likely less than he knows about comedy.


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