Bare your breasts

This is further to Craig’s post on the appalling Evan Davis interview yesterday, which the b.t.l. comments indicate didn’t go down well with quite a few viewers.

The One Show and Eastenders are no-go areas in this household so I always forget to tune in to the election specials that are scheduled in that slot, but yesterday I did happen to see the latter half of Evan Davis and Nigel Farage.

I came in at Mo Farrah, and stayed for ‘breastfeeding’. 

Evan Davis looks haunted. I think he knows that his decision to forsake the cosy Today studio for the harsh glare of television was a mistake.

I don’t know who briefed Evan - maybe he thought up the questions all by himself - but he, or whoever briefed him totally misjudged it. All of it.

He based his entire interview on the most superficial, lowest common denominator, wrong-headed soundbite-style slurs that the media has managed to conjure up. What was the point? No-one whatsoever, whether pro or anti, was going to be enlightened by listening to petty, narrow-minded hectoring. It probably persuaded a few undecideds to vote Ukip.

He set out to expose Ukip as an old fashioned, racist, prudish right-wing party and Farage as a loser. (That is undoubtedly how Evan and his colleagues view Ukip) 

  

The trouble is that the ruling classes and people who dominate the media have taken up so-called progressive theories, completely misunderstood them and run with them to the point of militancy. Education is one example. Human rights is another. Racism. Freedom of speech. All these radical but fundamentally moral concepts have been misunderstood, twisted, inverted and perverted till they stink. 

Just on the one point I’ve selected.  Goodness knows how many times I’ve breastfed a baby in public, discretely, without a special breastfeeding shroud, without going to the rest-room, without making a song and dance about it and without drawing attention to myself. Good grief. Breastfeeding is no big deal. No need to make a fuss. Nigel had the right idea.

There are people who would be embarrassed by the sight of a naked nipple whilst drinking their afternoon tea, so don’t deliberately wave one at them.  Of course if you were genuinely discrete and some old duffer complained you’d have a right to stand your ground. If not, then not. Not until everyone walks around wearing those genital revealing garments that some bonkers fashion designer actually ‘designed’ and some tailor actually constructed and some male models actually modelled and some magazine actually featured. Not until then. 

Civilization has turned a natural human instinct, breastfeeding, into an ‘issue’. In post-war, newly ‘enlightened’ times we had to be re-taught about natural human behaviour, which we had forgotten. 

Nowadays militant breastfeeding women who flaunt their newfound naturalness are a pain in the neck. You don’t need to flaunt it ladies. Just get on with it. It’s quite an intimate thing, between you and your baby, not an olympic sport. 

Anyway I’d like to know what Evan knows about breastfeeding. I understand he is a fan of intimate body piercing. Has he got pierced nipples? Now that’s one kind of nipple I don’t want to look at, with or without afternoon tea. 

I am a huge snob about tattoos. I see them as a sign of idiocy, like the satellite dish before I got properly used to it. 

I thought, what if someone went into a tattoo parlour (or whatever they’re called) and just asked to be made solid blue? Well, you could just have, say, one arm, or any other limb, made blue all over.  But then I saw some guys with what looked like just that. They say that’s from being tattoooed in prison, where something tends to go a bit wrong.  

David Beckham’s arms might look like that in a couple of years time. I wonder if David Beckham or Evan Davis favour the Rick Owens poncho? In private I hope, if so.