Please imagine for a minute that the BBC is biased, and biased in the way we and Sue believe it to be...
Then please imagine what kind of stories such a genuinely biased BBC would choose for its Christmas edition of the never-ending From Our Own Correspondent...
Were I to guess blind, I'd guess that it would have to include a report from Bethlehem which blames the numerical decline of Christians in Bethlehem purely, and without balance, on the adverse effects of "the Israeli occupation".
My experience of past BBC behaviour leads me to expect that - Yolande Knell, for example, and her poor Palestinian shepherds, from a few years ago, abiding in the fields, watching the Israeli settlers by night.
This weekend's festive edition of From Our Own Correspondent duly led with that very thing, courtesy of, yes, Yolande Knell.
Her piece, all in all, had been full of festive cheer up till its mention of "the Israeli occupation" (even though Bethlehem is run by the Palestinian Authority and isn't occupied) - three Christmases (Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Armenian Orthodox), bagpipers (via British rule), jolly Palestinians being self-deprecating, etc...
...and then, wham!, came the as-predictable-as-a-Marcus-Brigstocke-punchline...an attack on Israel.
The other topics, if you're wondering, were.....inspiring, racist-stereotype-defying Roma/gypsies in Hungary; the Nazi underbelly of the Vienna Phil's much-loved New Year Day concerts; how the BBC's Trending editor hates New York's brash consumerism at Christmas; and something about French food.
That does sound very 'BBC', doesn't it?
Actually, the gypsy story did seem like a genuine 'good news story', and the history of the New Year's Day concerts in Vienna, as reported by Radio 3's Squire Trelawny, is full of dark echoes (and Norman Lebrecht has been covering such things incisively for years); and...
...well, my enthusiasm runs out there. The BBC Trending guy sounded like an unfunny David Sedaris [whose Christmas piece for Radio 4 this year - his first published piece - was very, very funny], and I can't remember anything about the French food item.
Despite the extraordinary, damning revelations that keep coming out of the archive about the Straussfest in Vienna over the festive period (did you know there are actually three such concerts each year?), I still love the thing, so, altogether now...
Darr darr deee darrrr (wait for it!)..DA!!....da Da...da Da/...dar dar dee da.DA..da Da..da Da...
