Kerry-Anne Up the Khyber

I'm all for broadening the range of voices on the BBC, so I've no objection whatsoever to Kerry-Anne Mendoza of the alt-left The Canary being invited onto Any Questions. 

And besides, it looks as if she might give us even better entertainment value than Diane Abbott. 

This, however, was embarrassing to listen to...which I why I felt the immediate need to re-listen to it and then transcribe it for you!

It all began with a question about whether we should boycott the World Cup in Russia in response to the poisoning of Yulia and Sergei Skripal:

Jonathan Dimbleby: Kerry-Anne Mendoza?

Kerry-Anne Mendoza: Erm.....I hate that Sergei and his daughter died. It's appalling, and it reminded me of the horror that I felt when Litvinenko...(heckle)....sorry, what? (heckle: "They're not dead"). Sorry, I just assumed they were by now. It's absolutely...But the point is...(boos from the audience). No, I mean it.

Jonathan Dimbleby: Sorry, sorry. I should have pointed that out immediately. They are very ill...

Kerry-Anne Mendoza: Yeah, I know. 

Jonathan Dimbleby: ...and they are absolutely alive.

Kerry-Anne Mendoza: Yeah, thank you. I apologise...erm...(long pause) I find it terrifying. I find it terrifying when Litvinenko was killed...erm...(long pause) and this stuff happens. We don't know....(long pause)...(etc)

Ironically, around half a minute later Kerry-Anne then implored people to get their facts straight!:

Kerry-Anne Mendoza: But often what the best thing to do is to wait until you have the facts, wait until you have those facts clear and then take careful and delicate action. 

Most playwrights would probably sell their souls to Satan to be able to make up dialogue as darkly comedic as this (including such gems as "Sorry, I just assumed they were by now", "But often what the best thing to do is to wait until you have the facts" and, my own favourite, "Yeah, I know."). If it wasn't actually real, you'd surely take it for satire.

Roll on Kerry-Anne's next BBC appearance!