I find that the best way to watch the Eurovision Song Contest, if you feel the need to watch it, is with the sound firmly off.
BBC News Channel megastar Simon McCoy was on Twitter last night and, I think, must have kept the sound on.
His tweets about it made me smile and laugh. So I'll share some of the best of them with you here, dear readers:
- For this who remember Eurovision tweets a few years ago...if I can find a good bottle of red I shall be live tweeting during this year’s ceremony.
- Just over three hours to go...and a first glass of wine.
- Praying for a power cut.
- Czech entry...that drummer needs to get out more. Do they have a clothing budget?
- Bloody Hell...first bottle of red has gone...
- Russia now. Novocheck this out.
- Graham says he has a great voice. Bad night then.
- 48 minutes in... and A TUNE!!!
- This song is catchy. Like mumps.
- Do they not have autotune?
- How did he ever think he was a singer? Na na na na.
- Get a room. With no microphones.
- Creepy, says Graham. Unfair to creeps, say I.
- I cheered with the crowd just then. We all thought the song was over.
- Have switched to...ouzo.
- Dear Madonna, Mistake, Simon.
- The Norwegian judge said he was just enjoying the show. How do I trust his voting?
- What’s on ITV?
- Last. Place. Proud.
- Dutch. Courage. That’s what kept me going.
- To all Eurovision followers. Let’s all get a life. See you next year.