AND DIANE ABBOTT??!???!!!

Dead Ringers has a long tradition of being the most even-handed political comedy show presently broadcast by the BBC. (It pretty much has the field to itself). 

Though The Dead Ringers Election Special 2019 was undoubtedly at its most fierce towards Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg (with Jan Ravens doing a superb election night Theresa May), it took satirical potshots at all sides - including Hugh Grant and Laura Kuenssberg - and was often laugh-out-loud funny. 

Here are some of my favourite jokes (a biased selection if ever I saw one!):

Nick Robinson: Despite things looking dire Jeremy Corbyn insisted he was remaining positive as he arrived at Dignitas to watch the results come in.

Jeremy Corbyn: I want to remind you that in relation to the election result I am maintaining a neutral stance.

Mishal Husain: To give you an extent of just how dreadful a night it was for Labour, Prince Andrew told friends he thought it had gone rather well for Corbyn.

Jo Swinson: It's a long story, but suffice to say a campaign strategy based on telling 17.4 million people to go swivel has surprisingly backfired.

Andrew Neil: I'll be joined later by a frightened hatstand, a woman who quite likes cheese, a wombat who wants to be a pirate ...(incredulously) AND DIANE ABBOTT??!???!!!

Andrew Neil: Well, Diane, it's a pretty bad night for you.

Diane Abbott: No, Andrew, as ever you are wrong.

Andrew Neil: I think it's pretty bad.

Diane Abbott: Only if you look at the numbers Andrew.

Andrew Neil: Hello, Mr Corbyn. How do you feel?

Jeremy Corbyn: I am pretty disappointed.

Andrew Neil: I'm sure you are.

Jeremy Corbyn: I'm so disappointed in the BBC.

Andrew Neil: With the BBC?

Jeremy Corbyn: I'm disappointed in your vicious right-wing bias. What were you thinking? Broadcasting the actual result to the entire country?

Andrew Neil: I can't believe that you...

Jeremy Corbyn: (interrupting) Can I finish? Can I...Can I finish? Can I just say something? Can I say...? Shall I tell you where the BBC first started to go wrong? (Getting angrier and angrier) When they started broadcasting everything I said and did. Diane, hurry up and serenade me with a chorus of 'Oh, Jeremy Corbyn'!

Emily Maitlis: Hello, and welcome to Day Two of the BBC's election coverage. I'm Emily Maitlis. I'm joined now by Arlene Foster.

Arlene Foster: Glad to be here, you bronzed strumpet.

Emily Maitlis: Now, Boris Johnson has got a thumping majority. Surely you agree you don't have any influence anymore?

Arlene Foster: No, that's where you're wrong, you tousle-haired tramp.

Jeremy Corbyn: You have got through to the voicemail of Jeremy Corbyn. I can't come to the phone right now as I am making an extremely long list of all the people responsible for Labour's election defeat who aren't me.

John McDonnell: Look, it was just a bit of banter. Jeremy and I agree on this. The Labour Party manifesto was just banter, not to be taken seriously at all. (Angrily) And luckily no one did.