Thursday 28 January 2016

Endangered language

Which fictional language shrank as it developed? That question came up on the horribly addictive ITV quiz show “The Chase”. 
Truth is stranger than fiction of course, and Newspeak isn’t the only language that’s shrunk. 
We’re haemorrhaging words right left and centre here in the wonderful world of PC. 

The latest term outlawed by the PC police is, obviously, b***h. 
Yvette Cooper has asked the PM to apologise for using it as the collective noun for immigrant migrant. It’s pejorative, she thinks.

I was thinking. What would be a more acceptable term? Something angelic perhaps. What’s the collective noun for angels? Look it up on “” 

I'm loving angels instead.

Oh dear. One suggestion is “pinhead”. A pinhead of immigrants migrants? That really wouldn’t do. But host is a good one. Host as in golden daffodils.  

There. Sorted. A host of immigrants migrants. That would be double good as it has unintended connotations; “welcome”, “hospitality”, and other warm and fuzzy vibes.

Of course one couldn’t really use ‘host’ as a substitute for “b***h” in every case. A “bouquet” of flowers, perhaps. The daffs are already for sale round here, but I can’t see the farmers changing the signing to “Daffs: £1 a bouquet”. 

What about bananas? “Hand” maybe?  Grapes? What about “Sprig”?

He promised to buy me a ...tussie-mussie... of blue ribbons to tie up my bonnie brown hair, (styled, of course, in two “clumps” / adjacent pony-tails, or neighbouring pinheads)

Oh, I’ve got a lovely clump of coconuts...

The BBC should apologise profusely to itself for any offence caused by that annoying radio 4 promo.


  1. I am sure the BBC would hate the word "coconut" as well, since it is one of those racist words (as in brown on the outside and white on the inside)used by people who aren't supposed to be racist, and therefore should not even exist.

    The BBC is now a much more effective Language Police Force than a broadcaster of merit.

  2. Just saw this quoted:

    If correct, the conflation the UN Sec Gen has managed seems to me a tad more of a worry.

  3. Oh it`s the BBC.
    I call them a babysitting circle of migrants, seeing as Yvette Cooper has offered to let them stay in her house.
    Maybe a Norwich City reserve team of migrants...a Thornberry lodging house full of?...Personally I`d give them Bob Crows old council house to fill with their dreams and aspirational stiff`kits.

  4. Amazing!

    Everyone else is talking about Jess Phillips' contemptible comparison of what goes on in the centre of Birmingham on a Saturday with the vile assaults that took place at Cologne on New Year's Eve. Have teh BBC noticed? No - for them it's a question of "our Jess" (you can tell they like her - she's pro-migration, a (faux) feminist and hates Corbyn - what's not to like?) taking Cameron to task over the use of "bunch".


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