Saturday 25 January 2020

Burns Night (Nothing to do with A&E)

A few years back, as a joke, I tasked a dear friend of mine who was about to holiday in the Scottish Isles to bring me back a (dead) haggis. 

To my huge surprise the braw lassie did, also as a joke. 

I'm assuming she didn't catch it herself though. As the BBC's Autumnwatch has repeatedly proven, wild haggis are notoriously tricky to catch and, as skilled a skinner as she is, I really can't see my friend ever managing to lasso one - the critters are, famously, furiuosly fast on their furry, Rob Roy MacGregor tartan-coloured feet. 

Not that I'm any better. I love scampi but, whatever fishing gear I use, I've never yet managed to net a scampi. Not even in Morecambe Bay, which teems with scampi.

I then boiled my (dead) haggis for the family and, after some fifty minutes, dished it out - in true part-Scottish fashion - with neeps and tatties.

All I can say is that my family were very polite and encouraging and made a valiant effort to assure me that I hadn't poisoned them. I, however, started gagging at the smell of the thing as soon as I scissored opened the casing, even before eating it. And I felt like vomiting for hours after. 

Give me black pudding any day.

True story (mostly). 

OK. Bagpipes at the ready. It's Burns Night, and I do love a bit of Rabbie...

1 comment:

  1. I've only had haggis the once. And I can confidently predict that when I reach the end of life I will still be able to say that. :) Raw innards anyone?

    As for the poet - Wee Rabbie - I think if he were alive today he would be a full-on jet-flying trust-funded virtue signalling PC climate change XR supporter.

    Look at the record:

    1. Me the family servant pregnant.

    2. Sex Addict...Pursuing several women at the same time.

    3. Planned to emigrate to Jamaica to become an overseer of slaves, in order to improve his financial position, then wrote this doggerel to signal his virtue:

    4. Bipolar - so fitting well with modern "mental health issues".

    5. A proud Scot and friend of all humanity who collected tax for the British Crown.

    6. Compromising on his political views - in order to prove he wasn't an advocate of radicalism and thus preserve his job as a tax collector he joined the
    Royal Dumfries Volunteers!

    Yep, he was the original virtue signaller!

    Give me Coleridge every time.


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