Light relief

Alex Dale on Twitter:

On the 31 January at 11pm -

- Big Ben will bong
- a Lancaster bomber will bombard Parliament Square with blue passports
- erasmus students will be tarred and feathered
- all merlot will be poured into the Thames
- all Pret a Mangers will become Gregg's
- The only legal tender will be Brexit 50 pence pieces
- chalet girls will be humanely put to work removing the word Brussels from sprout packaging
- the channel tunnel will be ceremonially locked shut by Mark Francois
- Trans-European couples will fall out of love