Remember, remember, the 5th of November

Andrew Marr is famously a painter. Who knew he was a poet too? Here's how he started his show today:

Remember, remember, the 5th of November,

Backbiting, leaking and plot; 

If this lot gets clear to November next year, it's all down to luck,

Quite a lot.

Eat your heart out Wendy Cope! 

*******

The newspaper front pages were all sleaze, sleaze, sleaze. The first one Andrew held up was the Observer, which is leading today with the shock news that Larry the Cat has been suspended from his Downing Street duties following allegations of sexual harassment after he rubbed his head up against several MPs' legs. 

Following last week's highly controversial edition 'The Problem with Men', Newsnight is said to be considering another special on Monday called 'The Problem with Cats' (N.B. - NOT 'The Problem with Katz' as some scurrilous types are suggesting). Following the same successful format as last week's edition, there'll be a panel consisting of 14 cats and three birds. The cats will be ordinary moggies dragged off the streets and the invited birds are rumoured to be Tweetie Pie from the 'Don't Call Me a Bird' Project, Pretty Polly the Talking Parrot from LBC, and Beth the Token Budgie from the Guardian. 

*******

And now back to reality...

The newspaper review itself (Kate Hoey, Anna Soubry and Sam Coates) was all sleaze, sleaze, sleaze too, with a little bit of Brexit tagged on at the end. Andrew was treading very, very carefully here.

*******

The Dawn Butler interview also concentrated on sleaze. Andrew pursued her doggedly. In response, Ms Butler 'did a Diane', and waffled,  and said 'Andrew' a lot, and to all intents and purposes placed her hands over her ears and began singing 'La-la-la' as loudly as possible.

*******

Introducing the weather, Mr Marr quoted Billy Connolly saying that there's no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing. Matt Taylor in the weather studio advised us to wear a warm jacket, and maybe a waterproof warm jacket, plus warm socks and gloves. The weather map exploded with fireworks. I only wish Matt had brought in some sparklers and waved them throughout (wearing safety goggles of course).

*******

Ha, Benjamin Netanyahu's first words to Andrew Marr today were a crack about BBC bias!: 

Andrew Marr: This Balfour Declaration is regarded as one of the founding documents of the State of Israel, and to celebrate its centenary, Israel's Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu has come to London, where he's been in talks with Theresa May. To some, he is the arch defender of the Jewish people. To others, he is a bellicose hardliner dedicated to expanding the very settlements seen by Palestinian Arabs as the obstacle to peace. And he joins me now. Welcome Prime Minister.

Benjamin Netanyahu: The good part was shorter than the bad part.

It certainly was. And 'the bad part' kept on coming. No sane person could accuse the BBC of pro-Israel bias after this interview. That said, not everyone is sane:

Hm. Didn't this next question teeter perilously on the brink of Tim Willcox territory by seeming to blame Jews in Israel for the rise of antisemitism in the UK (albeit filtered through the safety blanket of his own "Jewish friends" and "a lot of Jewish community leaders")?:

Can I ask about the condition of Jews in this country? Because I have a lot of Jewish friends and there are a lot of Jewish community leaders who are very worried about your Government and they say that particularly the settlement issue has made it much, much harder to defend Israel in this country. We have always had antisemitism in Britain but it has been quite quiet for a long time, and it is back on the rise. 

And as for Andrew's question about Jeremy Corbyn, "Should you not pick up the telephone and talk to him directly?", I refer the honourable gentleman to this tweet:

Is #Marr for real?
Asking Netanyahu why he doesn't speak to Corbyn?
Who boycotted the Balfour Centenary dinner to address MEND Islamists?

*******

The Olivia Colman-Michelle Pfeiffer interview had a nice phrase from Andrew Marr about Kenneth Branagh's Poirot moustache, calling it "a vast grey marmoset". I think it looks more like a tamarin, specifically the emperor tamarin (named in honour of Franz Joseph I of Austria).

*******

Then it was back to sleaze again. Andrew began his interview with Amber Rudd by saying:

Can I make a parallel? I've been around for a long time. This feels a little bit like John Major's Government after the back to basics speech when day after day after day there was yet another story and another and another. And it was drip, drip, drip. And it shredded and exhausted that Government, and the same thing is happening to you. Can I put it to you this is not tittle-tattle, This is politically serious?

I think he has a point. It reminds me of that time too. And the BBC could barely focus on anything but sleaze and party splits at that time. And here we seem to be here again. Happy days!

Andrew pursed Ms Rudd doggedly too, but she's a more accomplished interviewee than Dawn Butler, a much better class of waffler.

Oh, and here's a bit more Rob Burley, for fans of the Marr editor's famous Twitter exchanges:

*******

And that's all I've got to say about that (you'll doubtless be glad to hear).