Desperately Seeking the Real Islam

Further to my last, I think someone should compile a detailed checklist of various not-the-real-Islamists and pass it to David Cameron and Theresa May so they can issue once and for all the definitive rules on what is ‘the real', as opposed to a perversion of, Islam.  Just to be clear.

Think of it as a search, as in ‘where’s Wally?’

The list should include Islamic State otherwise known as DAESH, Al Qaeda and the others I mentioned previously, as well as the affiliated branches of Islamic Jihadi groups and groupettes. As in The Jihadi’s Front for ISIS and The ISISian Jihadi’s Front. 

Also present on the list should be the individuals in the poster everyone’s talking about, advertising the comically titled “Quiz a Muslim”. 

The fact that this audacious fiasco could take place in broad daylight but apparently below the radar of the not-the-real-Islam brigade only goes to show how dumb we are to agonise over the dangers of importing ‘those who wish to harm us’ while studiously ignoring those already in situ.  The enemy within. This took place in Bedford; no more can we look forward with pleasure, at the end of a long day, to trudging tiredly 'up the wooden hill’.

Further to a btl comment by the esteemed Daphne Anson, I would just like to congratulate Amena on her experiment with comedy. Although ‘opposites’ is an infantile variant of humour as anyone who knows a four-year old will attest, little ones will burst out laughing after saying ‘black is white’, while Amena manages to keep a straight face. 

However she gives the game away with: “In a rare burst of reporting on an Israeli atrocity the BBC ran an article....” 

Laugh? Till I cried.

Knock-knock joke? Go on; give us the answer do.