Not much time to post anything serious today so, having survived last night's storm here in North West England, here are a few jokes about the present onslaught of weather you won't be hearing on BBC Radio 4:
I was flashed by a speed camera going through Staines today. No idea why, I was only doing 30 knots.
Ever since Live Aid in 1985, Britain has gifted millions of pounds worth of aid to Ethiopia. So a few bags of your sand would be nice.
Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering...Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.