Diversions

A few jokes for all the family (not even one featuring a parrot, alas):

I always give up my seat on a bus, which is why I lost my job as the driver.

I started edging my seat imperceptibly closer and closer to hers. It took many years, because she lived several miles away.

"Excuse me… hello - do you mind me asking, I thought I recognised your voice: are you… Béyonce?” “It’s ‘Beyoncé' actually, but yes” “Ah, sorry, I couldn't quite place your accent"

You should only be allowed to read Catch 22 if you've read it before.

I threw a ball for my dog. Extravagant, I know, but it was his 21st birthday.