Here are some entirely-on-topic jokes for a sunny, Spring-time, English Sunday afternoon (slightly adapted from a certain website which always makes me laugh):
Following the BBC's advice, Jeremy Bowen tried using a colander to view the eclipse. He thinks he may have strained his eyes.
I saw Jon Donnison looking directly at the solar eclipse."Didn't you read any of the warnings?" I said, "You could go blind looking at the sun like that!""I'm not that stupid," he replied, squinting. "I'm looking at the moon."
A terrorist attack has blown away two local houses - one made of straw and the other made of wood. The BBC reports that it's probably a lone wolf.
BBC Breaking News: The families of three British teenage girls thought to have run away to Syria have come together and pleaded with their daughters to come home. "We are losing child tax credits and family allowance," claimed the girls' fathers.