Justice for shorties. I’m framing this as an “Asa” post.
Asa member of the vertically challenged community - actually there’s nothing communal about it, I resorted to ‘grouping’ terminology through laziness - anyway, “Asa Kylie-sized / all the best things come in small packages” and representative of short-arses everywhere, I would like to make the case for making size-ism a hate-crime.
They say Randy Newman was making a subtle point (about prejudice) but many people took those mean lyrics at face value.
If you’re short you are disadvantaged. Fact. Through no fault of your own. You can’t change it - well you can have an operation to get your legs lengthened (you don’t hear so much about that op these days. I wonder how it panned out? ) whereas physically down-sizing ourselves is neither an option nor an aspiration. You could wear elevating shoes, which only makes people laugh at you even more than (absolutely) necessary.
Some people don’t reveal their lack of stature until they stand up. And the opposite. Who’d have thought Huw Edwards was a giant before they saw him towering over Mary Berry. Sitting at the newsdesk he looks distinctly average.
Being short makes people disrespect you. To assume one’s childlike height means one *is* a child shouldn’t. be. allowed.
Standing next to a tall person is humiliating for a little'un as well. For both of you, true, but more so for the shorty. Think of Hammond and Clarkson. The differential between Hammond and giant Clarkson is literally the elephant in the studio.
Oddly, when I was at school I never acquired a shortist nickname, though I was the same size as the class ‘titch’. The only nicknames I acquired were derivatives of my surname. I like to think that was because my personality was tall.
If you apply bog-standard logic to the definition of racism, eg., by reducing it to the simple matter of hard-wired (“hardware”) meaning inherent characteristic that you’re lumbered with (racial and genetic) as opposed to ‘software’ - add-ons - religious, cultural or ideological, then shortism certainly qualifies as racism.
This is not fair. Take John Bercow. A large part of the vitriol aimed at Bercow includes derogatory and demeaning references to his diminutive stature. But he isn’t freakishly small. Below average, perhaps. So, was this about the impertinence of a jumped-up, not-tall-enough individual assuming he had the authority of 'we giants' ? Or merely because the haters thought that such a huge amount of pomposity had no business coming from someone under six foot? Let’s face it, some of our political bigwigs are huge. With massive feet too, I shouldn’t wonder. Boats for shoes.
Shortist remarks abound. Remember Sarkozy? I suppose the fact that Mrs Sarcozy and Mrs Bercow tower above their 'old men' adds to the humiliation, though some short man/tall wife combos seem to think it’s something to show off about.
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| making a virtue out of necessity |
If you’re genuinely handicapped size-wise, certain types of jokes are off-limits. Only ‘laughing with you, not at you” jokes are allowed. I wonder what would happen if Warwick Davis reinvented himself as a politician? Cue jokes about standing for office. Warwick Davis for Speaker! No quips about high-chairs then, I’ll wager.
Anyway, I demand protected status.
Heightism is certainly more prevalent that many another ism these days. But I suppose things are changing gradually - you rarely hear the term "moral pygmy" bandied about these dates, though it used to be a favourite...though that might be more about race than height.
ReplyDeleteI am convinced Putin chose Medvedev as his "successor" because he was the only Russian politician of note who was actually shorter than himself.
Dickens was chagrined to receive a letter from a midget after having followed the West European tradition by making a midget in one of his novels malevolent. He later included a positive role model for short people in one of his novels to make up for that! :)
And note how Trump used his height and bulk to dominate in the debates with Clinton - Hillary in the flat shoes. She never stood a chance against the tall athletic basketball playing Obama, who made a practice of running up aeroplane steps during the election campaign. If only she'd put on a few inches with the skyscraper stiletto heels favoured by all the zelebs and even the new royals.
DeleteAsa Not-Shorty but whose mother used to be teased mercilessly by us for her 5ft to Father's 6ft - and incidentally her father had a nickname which rather brutally defined him by his short stature, asin something like 'The Short-Arse Wilson' by which he was known to everyone, I know some of those lines. Mother used to laugh at our devilishness and retort that good goods go into small bounds.
ReplyDeleteI had a tutor at university whom I used to accompany to various faculty hosted events, who was shorter than average but was tremendously outgoing, always buzzing around meeting and greeting friends and colleagues everywhere. He seemed like a 'tall' person or perhaps 'walk tall' person, undaunted by stature or anything. But then he was American and maybe that explains it - the confidence and active energy he exuded.
With Bercow, it's a handy go-to insult, as with any other perceived shortcoming [oh, pun] or failing - asin 'you're a fat so and so' or 'ginger twit', so it's easy to incorporate it into a packaged insult such as 'vulgar little man' or 'pompous little oik'.
Like it or not, people do pick on physical characteristics that have not been outlawed or made taboo, asin a few exceptional cases, notably those which evoke aghast cries of 'That's racist!'. Or oh oh some variant '----phobic!
Until quite recently leftist comedians still used the G word (ginger) to have a go at people such as Prince Harry. That now seems to have joined the verboten list.
ReplyDeleteMost BBC 'work-related' stuff presupposes the population either works for the state or a massive conglomerate. On occasion they do go small (see what I did there) but usually pitch up at the M end of SMEs unless its an 'influencer' of one or someone running a business that has just offended someone the BBC holds dear.
ReplyDeleteI ended up employing fifty folk and frankly cannot imagine ever enjoying working where there is a hierarchy, at least not one where I was anything else but the one who does the firing. Sackofratsism sucks unless you are the Top Cat.
But I digress. I am not... easy to see. Given my wife is under 5' this has not worked out well genetically for the kids, and this is a bone of contention. What to do? If life gives you lemons, own the lemonade stand.
My favourite moment ever was attending an industry affair where the company has done quite will on the awards front.
So I invited two staff to attend with me and arranged to arrive late enough as all were seated as I turned up, a short thorn escorted by two roses.
The two staff were Shanghainese young ladies who were also most easy on the eye as well as very good at their jobs. And the job was making our company the centre of attention. They were both 6'+, plus 6" heels.
That night, it worked.
Feel the Bern.
Your photo is crying out for a 'Mrs Merton' - "What first attracted you to millionaire Bernie Ecclestone?"
ReplyDeleteAt 5' 7" I think I'm 'just about right', (no I'm, not Lord Hall!). I can out my hands on a desk when standing and rest them on the top of a four-drawer filing cabinet. If I stand on a chair my head doesn't crash into the ceiling, (a risk for tall folk), and I can crawl under a sink to attack a U-bend.
I'm sure if I had been taller though I would have been paid more - there is a lot of truth in the Cleese, Barker & Corbett sketch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tXBC-71aZs